"If you are like the millions of men and women who feel dissatisfied, you have been trying to negotiate a 21st Century relationship using 20th Century skills."
"Why is it so excruciatingly difficult for good people who love one another to give their partners what they are asking for, and get their own needs met in return? What relationship sabateur derails us? Actually, there is not just one element we can blame for all our relationship troubles, there are five (5)."
"Five (5) losing strategies that trip us up:
1. Needing to be right
2. Controlling your partner
3. Unbridled self-expression
4. Retaliation
5. Withdrawal"
"Whenever one or some combination of these losing strategies takes hold, you'll never get what you want."
"Why do todays' relationships need a new rule book? Because we are in a time of great change. The roles of men and women have dramatically shifted, and so have our expectations about relationships. We have never wanted more from one another - more passion, more support, more connection. But our new desires have not been matched by a corresponding new set of skills, and for most of us, whatever we learned growing up about relationships is simply not sophisticated enough to deliver all that we hoped for."
- The New Rules of Marriage by Terrence Real, LCSW
